DocSwiner's Superwoman Complex Blog

I’m not going to say that the release of Beyonce’s #Lemonade prompted this blog entry, but whatever……. 🙂

I have a dear friend who is currently going through a horrible divorce. She is a wonderful lady, phenomenal Mom of 3, and is well accomplished. I’m worried about her. I, unfortunately, have many friends who have had heart break in relationships, and who are finding their way back to baseline. I thought about them today and what it feels like to establish the “new normal.”

I thought about my friend dealing with the drama of dropping her kids off to a condescending, angry ex and waiting for him to pick up the phone at their court allotted Facetime to talk to her kids and say good night. I am overwhelmed with anger when I try to put myself in her shoes and imagine what I’d be feeling.

What I want to say to those women today is, it’ll be ok. It hurts now and the tears will fall today, but ‘trouble don’t last always.’ It’s ok to cry for a while, and hate your ex, and feel lonely but know that you are loved and thought about and cared for. Lean on your girlfriends and family to pull you out of the hole. Practice self-care as you know you should. Seek therapy and counseling for you and your children if you need it.

The break-up is likely not all your fault. It takes two to both start and end a relationship. Don’t blame yourself for the rest of your life. Learn from the mistakes, mourn the loss (for a short time), and pick yourself back up. You are not your failed relationship. You’re more than that.

See this as a REFRESH button, a fresh start. You get to establish the new normal the way YOU want to. Sure, it’ll be hard at first, but you’ll adjust. There will be another love. Be patient. Be careful, but not fearful to love another. Don’t carry your baggage with you to the next thing. Know that I’m thinking of you today. Take care.